Allalian Selda Demontion -hunter- Psychiatrist

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Allalian Selda Demontion -hunter- Psychiatrist

Post  CreativeDarkPeace on Mon Dec 19, 2011 7:40 am

STAFF

NAME: Allalian Selda Demontion -hunter- Therapist

GENDER: Male

AGE: 30, Dec. 20 (birthday celebrated around the time he woke up from cave, and he guessed his age.)

INFECTED: Hunter

SEXUALITY: Gay (and single and confused and blah.)

EYE COLOR: None (if he had eyes they would be hazel)

HAIR COLOR: Dark Dirty Blonde

HEIGHT: 5"10

APPEARANCE: Casual clothes under a full length dark green/beige cape (cotton), Has his right ear pierced (small gold ring loop) , always has a necklace on, he dosent like to shave often (but dosent have a beard), He has scars around the bottoms of his eyes for scratching at them, has the top part of his hair pulled back, and has a medium build from training.

OCCUPATION: Therapist at L4MS, Helps the kids when ever he can, he dosent have a office so he can walk around the school.

PERSONALITY: (shy hipster) Is a sweet guy most of the time. smiles at men, and dosent speak to women unless spoken to. when he has to, he gets really shy and nervous, since he has no real memory of his past he has given up on himself, meaning he always is looking down, or looking really sad. Like listening to music when he can, it is mostly classical rock, or even just classical music. he gets a great energy and mood boots from helping people, so he became a Psychiatrist so he could get paid to do it. He has a bad mental issue (multi personality) causing him to turn into a huge ass hole. That Part of him, Pounces on women telling them that "he dosent need their help" or "Go Away before you get hurt." and will growl at passing by trouble makers.


INTERACTION WITH CHILDREN/(if coach: TEACHING METHODS): Psychiatrist, He likes to walk around the school, taking care of issues/fights going on and finding kids in need. He will do anything to show the kids the right path, even if it means hurting them, but that just means he will get mad and growl at them. He keeps tabs on most of the kids, he likes to talk to the nicer kids in the halls, or when they are in class. He will basically stalk the children who are acting weird or suspicious, but most of the time, its just him being paranoid.

INTERACTION WITH CO-WORKERS/OTHER ADULTS: Extremely shy to women, will not speak to them unless nessary (this even applys to ladys that consider him their friend.) To Men he will always smile and talk to them, even if he thinks they are not listening, and flirts with any guy he thinks puts off the right vibes. Has absolute control over his other side when at his workplace, because he does not want to loose his job. He asks very little of his other workers, and talks to all the teachers on a regular basis as part of his job description.

HISTORY/BIO: Suffered from a memory loss (possibly from fighting someone/survivor until he lost and nearly died), he cant remember his past or where he came from. He woke up with a Cape, and lots of wounds around his arms, that look like blade damage. when he left the Cave, he lived in the forest, learning he must of trained his body before he lost his memory, because he could leap up trees, and had amazing stamina. During his time in the woods, he trained a lot, perfecting this thing. and eventually left the woods to live in the town, and started a new life. He studied to be a Psychiatrist for 9 years (graduated collage at 28) and got a job at L4MS.

FAMILY: He Cant remember if he has a family or not, all he remembers is waking up in a cave near town and living life ever since. But he is trying to start one one, by making friends with someone and their family, or getting in a relationship and meeting their family. Until then, he has his Cats.

LIKES: Cats and he has a lot around his house he takes in every stray he finds (and awlays falls asleep with one on his chest). His cape because he thinks it will unlock his past someday. Kicking people.. it makes his other side happy, because he doesn't do it much. Eating, because who hates to eat?, Guys because he always felt more comfortable around them, like he could be himself or his other self and not have any fun poked at him. Drawing and Training, it gives him a chance to use his hands, and because of that, he keeps his nail/claws short but he keeps them sharp. being around jerks because then he can black out to his other side and it wont come out for a while.

DISLIKES: Racists, religious People, Quitters, he groups all or these people together as weak and dosent like to waste his time talking to him because it always ends up in a big argument. dogs, because they cant be proper pets and leave him alone until they need something, then cutely annoy him until they do need something (like sit on his head). himself most of the time because he wants to remember his past but cant, and so he will beat himself up over the fact.

EXTRA: (His lost past) Allalian grew up in a town a ways off, but still sharing the same forest (I guess I know nothing of the neighboring towns but I want one to be there) Where his parents were kind of old fashioned, His father wanted him to be able to protect himself if he ever got in a fight (because his dad thought because he was always getting beat up in school and spent lots of time with his mom that he was weak) So his father gave him a sword and trained him how to use it. The training was hard and vigorous, but when he turned 18 (and after he strached his eyes out from not having eye protection from the sun, and graduation highschool with flying colors) his father finally thought he was strong enough to be called a man, so he was given a cape, as a present for completing his training. It was made by his mom, and he never took it off, he wore it as a symbol that he was a man now. Shortly after getting his cape, he wanted to move out of his house and start a life of his own.

So he started a training center, for basic fighting skills, and sword mastery. He Also made swords as a way to fund everything he needed, and for his students. (and he did this how any other person does.. he..uhm.. leave me alone I don't know how you go about getting these things! he is smart!) He had It for about a year and was getting to have good business, when he had a student (female 17-ish and has had previous training) that was taking his classes for all the wrong reasons. She was top of the class, but was always too rough and brittle with everyone. She was really hurting the students with her staff (you know its for safety for all the kids...), and spat at him when he tried to set her straight. Most of the kids he had here we barely teens (it was better to teach them at a young age) and the ones the were adults were getting angry at her. Allalian knew he had to kick her out. But she hadent done anything to deserve any such dishonor.

One day he had all the students go out into the forest for a sparring session, His one trouble student was defeating all her opponents, but it was because she dident have a staff, She was using a real sword. She was mercilessly attacking a young boy, he was the youngest student he had. Allalian drew his sword he always carried with him and stepped between the boy and woman, blocking her attacks and pushing her to the ground.

"Why do you bring such violence to my Court?!" he shouts.

"Everyone here is WEAK! And pathetic! They all need to DIE for such insults as to try and learn a skill of STRENGTH!" she replies turning around as so she could address everyone, and she turns to her master, Allalian.
"Join me in this act, or you shall die by my blade!" She extends her blade as part of her arm, pointing at him.

"You're insane! I'm never going to join your pointless quest for power!" She lunged at him, their blades colliding making a vibrant spark.

He lead the fight far away from his students, not wanting to hurt anyone else. He was backed up in a cave seeming to be winning the fight, he had made a large gash on her shoulder,and she couldn't keep up much longer with it as damage to that tendon was fatal. But when she landed a critical hit to his right wrist, he lost control of his hand leaving his sword to fly off to the other side of the cave. She dident give up her attacks, she was snarling and feral while mercilessly gashing open his arms that flung up to protect himself. He made one last effort to defeat her, he leaped with all his might. He had her on the ground, and thought he had won. He growled and was about to make his final move.

"Haha!" she shouted with a nasty look. He instantly knew why, what he though was her sword wielding arm was a slender rock, and she bashed the back of his head with the butt of the sword as hard as she could.

Allalian was out cold. The wench took his sword and left the cave, going back to her quest to kill the other students.

The concussion gave him amnesia, and it also gave him a split personality, one that deals with all the pain in his life from now on so he dosent have to.


(EDIT:... there. now, IF there is still something wrong with this please, PLEASE. point it out. I dont want any confusion.)


Last edited by CreativeDarkPeace on Sat Dec 24, 2011 11:03 pm; edited 5 times in total (Reason for editing : wasent how i wanted it last)
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Re: Allalian Selda Demontion -hunter- Psychiatrist

Post  TenderFoot on Tue Dec 20, 2011 7:00 pm

Please expand on:

OCCUPATION
INTERACTION WITH CHILDREN
HISTORY/BIO
LIKES (Where is this cape coming from? And why is this the first time we are hearing about it?)
DISLIKES

Also if it wouldn't be too much trouble, can you re-do the PERSONALITY to something a bit more realistic that doesn't involve a 'demon'.

Another thing to keep in mind is that this character shows no reason or past activity that would make him a hunter, (example: parkour) so unless you wish to change that, can you please change his infected type to something more appropriate like a Common Infected or a Witch.

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Re: Allalian Selda Demontion -hunter- Psychiatrist

Post  CreativeDarkPeace on Thu Dec 22, 2011 12:30 am

Updated, please, if there's anything else that needs be fixed, let me know and I will gladly fix it, I don't mind at all.
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Re: Allalian Selda Demontion -hunter- Psychiatrist

Post  CreativeDarkPeace on Fri Dec 23, 2011 6:09 am

so am I accepted yet???.... *sigh* Question
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Re: Allalian Selda Demontion -hunter- Psychiatrist

Post  TenderFoot on Sat Dec 24, 2011 9:29 am

he gets a great energy and mood boots from helping people, so he became a Psychiatrist so he could get paid to do it. He has a bad mental issue (multi personality) causing him to turn into a huge ass hole. That Part of him, Pounces on women telling them that "he dosent need their help" or "Go Away before you get hurt." and will growl at passing by trouble makers.

INTERACTION WITH CHILDREN/(if coach: TEACHING METHODS): Psychiatrist, He likes to walk around the school, taking care of issues/fights going on and finding kids in need. He will do anything to show the kids the right path, even if it means hurting them, but that just means he will get mad and growl at them. He keeps tabs on most of the kids, he likes to talk to the nicer kids in the halls, or when they are in class. He will basically stalk the children who are acting weird or suspicious, but most of the time, its just him being paranoid.

From what I am reading, I am not quite sure you understand what a psychiatrist really is. "A psychiatrist is a physician who specializes in the diagnosis and treatment of mental disorders." To me, it sounds like you are describing a therapist or something. Point is, psychiatrists deal with mental disorders, and really shouldn't be doing what you have for their INTERACTION WITH CHILDREN. Psychiatrists should not be taking care of issues/fights between students. That is more of a job for a school counselor or therapist. They aren't supposed to be there to 'show the kids the right path'. They deal with mental disorders. And since your character has a mental disorder and can't even handle his own diagnosis, I am not quite sure he is right for this occupation. I suggest maybe choosing something else for him to do? Also for whatever occupation you choose for him to have, make sure you include a history for how he came to that decision and WHY, and maybe how he was educated in that field. This also contradicts how you said he had memory loss. Training to be anything in the medical field takes many years, so maybe you could even make him a bit older if you plan on keeping him a psychiatrist.

Anyway...moving on from the Occupation portion...

and pounce around from rooftop to rooftop, sometimes bugging other people because of it.

Sorry but this just seems so random. How about some reason as to why he jumps roofs when he walks home? It just seems like a blank and random insert to make him seem more hunter like. (Which I am still not convinced of. I still recommend choosing another infected type, you mentioned he was fit before he lost his memory so a tank is another option.)

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Re: Allalian Selda Demontion -hunter- Psychiatrist

Post  CreativeDarkPeace on Sat Dec 24, 2011 9:48 am

*sigh* Wow you really find the plot holes don't you?.. it seems I can't worm my way out of anything. But I will say this, I have a teacher in my Highschool that has cerebral palsy, a mental disability, and he is a teacher. And I myself, suffer from Tourette's syndrome, but am in the highest ranking choir in my school. I just wanted to include the struggles of someone who lives life like I do, having a contradicting problem to what they love to do. I can however, make him older, as per I was going to have him be this age, introduced, then have years of training to become what he is now. And if you want he can be a therapist if you want, I just wanted to be original sounding is all.
And for the "Why make him a hunter?" bit, he has a past that I have All planned out to write, that REALLY makes sense, I'm just In the process of typing it all out. And, he wasent TANK fit per say, he just did lots of work with weapons, and had to train skills, not muscles really. To give off a piece of his past, He worked as a swords smith for money, and he trained people how to use them as well. And sword play takes a lot of movement... which also explains how he ended up in the cave as well.. but like I said, I'm still typing all this out. I will add it when its finished. Thank you Bane Very Happy
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Re: Allalian Selda Demontion -hunter- Psychiatrist

Post  CreativeDarkPeace on Tue Jan 03, 2012 9:11 am

...it's surprisingly cold on the back burner... Or wait? Is it a cold shoulder? All I'm saying is, it's been a long time to get a response back is all.
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Re: Allalian Selda Demontion -hunter- Psychiatrist

Post  TenderFoot on Wed Jan 04, 2012 6:48 am

I apologize. I did not receive a PM from you telling me that you had updated. There was no way of me knowing to look back here to see if your edits were complete.

Ahem. Now let us get started,

Like listening to music when he can, it is mostly classical rock, or even just classical music.


You placed this information in his PERSONALITY though it should be in LIKES.

He studied to be a Psychiatrist for 9 years (graduated collage at 28) and got a job at L4MS.


I thought you changed him to be a Therapist? If so, why did he go to college for Psychiatry?

Also, there is some things in his back story that are a little confusing....

The training was hard and vigorous, but when he turned 18 (and after he strached his eyes out from not having eye protection from the sun, and graduation highschool with flying colors) his father finally thought he was strong enough to be called a man, so he was given a cape, as a present for completing his training.

So what age did he become infected, 18? Also the small paragraph of his past before that sentence still does not have any Hunter-y influences. So keeping in mind that he was a hunter after 18, he ran this sword training school WHILE being a hunter? Also all of the other characters and dialogue included, it seems like you've already had this character Allalian for a while. Are you taking an OC from a different universe and sticking him into L4MS? It seems he's really from a sort of Medieval environment with the SWORDPLAY and whatnot. Either that or some sort of larping community/village. Usually when people try to transfer their characters like that to a modern day setting, it doesn't work out.

Instead of transferring a character, I suggest making a completely new one JUST for this forum. It will be good for you to expand a little and create new characters. Also I'm sure you'll have a lot of fun with it!

However, if you really REALLY aren't gonna take my advice and continue to try and edit Allalian, I STILL suggest a different kind of infected. Sword making requires a strong arm and keen eye. A basic knowledge of what you're doing, a tank is strong, but smokers and spitters are known infected that tend to be clever and have keener minds. I suggest a Tank hybrid with either a Spitter or a Smoker.

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Re: Allalian Selda Demontion -hunter- Psychiatrist

Post  CreativeDarkPeace on Wed Jan 04, 2012 7:35 am

XD I feel like a fail because I did make him just for this forum... I will fix Allalian tho, but still with all of his flaws I think I will start over with a new thing for him entirely. I made him entirely too quick because I wanted to start doings things with other people quickly, and now I see tht dosent work well unless you have a good set person. So I'm going to re-write him, and put more effort and time into it...
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Re: Allalian Selda Demontion -hunter- Psychiatrist

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